It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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