id be glad to
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
