Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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