Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
