Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
