My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
