This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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