Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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