ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
