We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
