he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
