Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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