New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize