I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize