I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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