a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
