Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
