There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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