I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
