I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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