I'm lost and stupid without you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
sex in a hospital.. check
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
