as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
