And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
