How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
