So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
