She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
