when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
