brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my shit smells like andre
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
