And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
