Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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