you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
