umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
please don't ironically join a cult
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