I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
