talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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