i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
