Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize