I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
