nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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