And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You're so nebulous sometimes
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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