ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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