I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
