I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This house was built for laser tag.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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