Don't you send me to vm
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
