I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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