apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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