You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He passed out mid-signature
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
