I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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