no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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