I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
