Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
