i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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