@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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