My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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