i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
