Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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