we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
