just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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