We won't sleep together?
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
