I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
