This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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