I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
