Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
