Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
