Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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