marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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