I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
