We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
