Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
