If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
