But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
