Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
