she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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