I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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